Connecting with your audience.

I was at a conference earlier this year and wondered why I didn't connect with a particular speaker (truth be told, I found him arrogant and annoying). Out of curiosity, I started recording how many times the speaker said "I", "me" or "myself" and the number of times he used "you", "yourself" or "we"

He spoke for no more than 10 minutes, and I recorded for at least 5.

I then recorded the next speaker for the same length of time. She was also a confident, "out there" speaker. The results of my sample were this:

Speaker number 1 -

• 28 times - "I"
  
• 22 times - "me, my or myself",
  
• 5 times - "we"
  
• 3 times - "you"

Speaker number 2 -

• 28 times - "I"
  
• 6 times - "me, my or myself",
  
• 9 times - "we"
  
• 26 times - "you"

Broken down - Speaker number 1 - used words referring only to himself 50 times, and included the audience 8 times.

Speaker number 2 used words referring only to herself 34 times, and included the audience 35 times.

Now I should disclose: the reason I'm interested in this is that I'm working on improving my own connection with audiences and I can't claim any perfection in this area. A person I greatly respect, had reviewed my presentation a week or two before this event, and suggested I work on connecting better with audiences, and try using phrases like"I want to persuade you",or "by the end of the speech I hope to convince you", so my ear was tuned into the use of "you" versus "I" to start with.

I found the difference in word-choice striking, and it's motivated me to review my own language use, especially at the beginning of a speech.

\To talk to Rachel about coaching, speech-development or training ring +64 3 355 6269, e-mail rachel@HelpforSpeakers.com.

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