Self defeating beliefs

A couple of things have leapt out at me today about the way self-defeating beliefs can be more damaging than actual discrimination.

One is an article in The Christchurch Press about the gender gap in salaries. Which reported that when the same job was advertised at $55K it had almost no women applicants, but plenty when advertised at $35 K. To be in the top 10% of male earning you need to earn #50,000, for women, only #37,500. It posited the theory that women are aware of their weaknesses, whereas men are more likely to have a go anyway.

The other was a posting by Propter Doc about the feeling common to many people that they are frauds and will one day be found out!

I suspect this is more commonly confessed to by women, but at least 2 male lawyer friends of mine said they felt the same, early in their careers. One of them accepted it as a given and was willing to have a go and make mistakes, the other was a perfectionist and made sure he didn't make mistakes. Happily, both have done very well in the 10 or so years since we had that conversation.

The other belief, which was a factor in my case, was that even when I did well, it was always not quite good enough (compared to the impossible imaginary perfect standard). Or, "I didn't really deserve to do so well as I relied on my short term memory, rather than "properly studying" so I don't " really know" an area of law.*

These are all common ways of self-sabotage. Julia Cameron, in her books The Artist's Way andThe Artist's Way at Work have exercises to help overcome these kinds of beliefs. I cannot recommend her work too highly!

Regards

Rachel

*Actual truth - lawyers need to know a lot less law than you think. What matters is not the ability to remember the details of hundreds of cases, but to be able to find the relevant law, analyse it, hold complex fact situations in mind, and find a practical solution while following basic principles and rules of procedure. It's actually skills more than knowledge based.